How Separation Can Help Salvage Your Marriage

Marriage is a very delicate relationship. You could compare it with a bank of emotions where both the spouses have to put in a joint account before taking out anything. Sometimes, it is possible that only one spouse keeps on putting into the joint account while the other only takes out. If this happens, there would come a time when the spouse who kept on putting in has no more interest to put in and stops. Then after some time there is nothing to take out anymore. This is where the marriage breaks.

Can Separation Help Your Marriage?

Very often, with the years that pass each spouse would tend to take the other for granted. There would be no effort to make one another feel wanted, happy or appreciated. Sometimes, this is due lack of communication – such as working too hard in the office to advance your career/ looking after the children and home. Gradually, both spouses become estranged and the feelings they had for each other gradually diminish.

At this time, there are two ways that come naturally – (i) let he marriage deteriorate in this manner which would result in divorce sooner or later, (ii) do something to revive the importance of the marriage in each other’s hearts and minds.

If you choose the second option – separation here can be a boon. It can be like taking a step back to see whether what you have together has any meaning to both of you and whether you would find it important enough to work for it. Separation would give you the opportunity to see how life would be without each other. Sometimes, which is quite often, separation puts things in the right perspective.

You would be able to realize how important the family and your spouse is for you and can convince you that it is worth it to give it a try to revive the marriage. Separation is also a good time to realize the contribution of each partner to the family as a whole. You could realize not only the importance of having a family, but also how much your spouse is doing for it. The appreciation would not be easy to come through when you see (without really making a note of it) it every day; but when you are away from one another you tend to realize the worth of your spouse and rediscover the qualities that had attracted you to him/ her in the first place.

The separation would be a way to “make the heart grow fonder”. It is not uncommon to realize how much you love your spouse during this time; and re-open the communication channels which due to various reasons would have almost closed down. By the way two of the major factors which show that the marriage is floundering are (i) lack of communication and (ii) lack of sex. Both can be revived by a brief separation.

Sometimes, the separation has the opposite effect, i.e. it makes you realize that you are indeed better off single. When this happens, the marriage is beyond help. However, in most cases a separation is just a time off that can be used to put things back into the right perspective. It is a time when you could renew your love for each other and the commitment you both have to make the marriage work. This is a time when both spouse would realize that to have a good marriage, both need to work hard at it.

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