How Respect Influences a Marriage

Some people are of the opinion that a good marriage is the result of a great chemistry; some would think that it is based on mutual admiration; while yet other would opine that a good marriage is based on understanding and a willingness to continuously compromise in favor of the other. All these statements are true. A good marriage needs all these ingredients. However, it also needs the respect of one another.

How Respect Influences a Marriage

What means respect? It is the value you place on the ability of your spouse to do something. This ‘something’ could be inter-personal relationships, managing the home finances, managing home and career, taking care of the kids, and so on. The value that you place on your spouse’s special abilities would make your spouse feel appreciated and loved.

What happens if there is no respect? Imagine a home where each spouse contradicts the other basically implying that he/ she has no idea what they were doing or saying. At every major decision each spouse would impress upon the other that they are not having any confidence upon their opinions, neither had they thought that anything good would come out from such a decision. How long do you think such a marriage would last?

Respect like communication is a basic ingredient of a good marriage. It is a way of saying, “I know you can do this. I trust you.” It is a feeling that promotes interdependency that is so important in any relationship, but most of all a marriage. Without interdependency a marriage is just two people living together. You have to need one another and you have to enjoy having the other do something for you – not because you might not be able to do it yourself, but because you love your spouse doing it their way.

Respect is what matures into a healthy companionship once sex and physical attraction lessens with age. Unless you respect your spouse’s opinion you would not be able to communicate and without communication the marriage would collapse like a pricked balloon once the sexual attraction wanes.

Mutual Respect and Children

The respect that spouses give one another reflects very much on how the children perceive themselves and their parents. You would find rebellious and unruly children most often come from families where each spouse tries to put each other down. When parents respect and love one another, children too develop a balanced outlook about life and they are more mature in their approach to life.

The mere fact that the children see their parents value each other, gives them a sense of security and contentment. They tend to look up at their parents and are more likely to bring their own problems for discussion with either of the parents when they feel that their parents would be capable of “handling” it. When mutual respect is non-existent the children would not feel safe with their secrets because they would have developed a low self-esteem as well as no confidence upon the abilities of their parents to solve their problems.

From whichever angle you would look, a marriage would never last long with out a high degree of mutual respect among the spouses.

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