The Financial and Emotional Aspects of Divorce

A divorce is always a painful process for everybody involved whether it is contested or through mutual consent. There is a lot of emotional trauma involved which makes it very hard to think clearly and act rationally. This is a time when the hurt that is felt within cries for revenge. In some cases, it is a relief to be free again. However, in most cases it is a horrible nightmare from which you would want to wake up and put behind as soon as possible.

Besides the emotional aspect, the divorce involves another major factor, i.e. the financial aspect. Since emotions run high, in most cases the decisions of dividing the marital property is hasty and improper. The best advice would be to have a mediator who is a friend or an elder respected by both spouses who can do the needful without any partiality. The following aspects need to be addressed:

Children custody – this is one of the worst parts of the divorce emotionally – especially for the children. This is because children somehow always want to have both parents together even when there are daily arguments and bad atmosphere at home. When the divorce takes place, they feel they have to choose between the parents and that is a terrible thing for a child because they tend to carry in their hearts the guilt that they “let down” the parent who they left behind. It is always good to assure the children that no matter where they live, they would be loved by both parents equally and that not living together did not mean any type of betrayal on their part.

Income – it is a great thing if both the spouses have independent income. However, as per the law the woman is usually entitled to an alimony or divorce settlement so she could support herself and the children, if the custody is accorded to her. This always depends on two major factors, i.e. (i) the standard of living of the couple during marriage and (ii) the income of the husband. Based on these two factors the court usually decides what would be a reasonable amount for the maintenance of the divorced wife and the upkeep of the children.

Marital property – ideally this should be valued and divided equally between both the spouses. However, if this is not possible some type of reimbursement may be done so the person who leaves the house suffers least.

Visiting rules – since one of the parents would get the children (sometimes the children are divided among the parents) the other parent requests for visiting rights. If this can be settled amicably, it is great. If not the court usually appoints the time and conditions (if any) when the other parent can see his/ her children. The best arrangement is that the kids stay with one parent and visit him/ her during holidays.

Picking up threads – it is important that neither of the spouses go out for some time after divorce. This is because immediately after divorce the person seeks emotional reassurance which may make them vulnerable and likely to make commitment that they would regret later. Let the hurt comes down and the logic come up before contemplating of dating again. Give yourself time to think straight and feel right again.

Digg This Story My StumbleUpon Page